A Frolic of My Own

Jazz, Books, Food, and the Writing Life

Blogging from New Orleans, La

16 January 2010

Satan is a little ticked off at Pat Robertson. He sent this letter to the Star Tribune:

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll. You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

Hat tip to Lily Coyle for serving as a messager for the Lord of Darkness.

Posted by Todd at 2:18 pm |

2 Responses to “Satan replies”

  1. Elijah Lewis Says:
    July 12th, 2010 at 8:57 am

    Botox is quite dangerous if it not properly administered by qualified doctors;*”

  2. Eve Reid Says:
    August 29th, 2010 at 11:35 am

    Botox is the most expensive toxin that i know he he he. thanks to cosmetic *-,

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